You don’t have to.

Yes she is.
I don’t want to share you, though.
I can’t just leave her, she’ll eat everything. I’ll bring her with me.
She’s not allowed on the bed.
I am not replacing you. She’s a fucking kitten.
Cuddle me instead of her, then.

Oh my god.
You’re replacing me with a cat.

Don’t be a dick, Jesse. She does not hate you. She’s a kitten.
She’s trying to turn you against me! You can’t see it, but she glares at me when you’re not looking. She wants you to herself!

You love her. You were practically jumping when we got her home.
I have no idea what you’re talking about. She hates me.


She needs a name…
Just do you know, I’m setting this as my background on my phone.
I think he’s giving me diabetes…

I don’t even like cats.